Working in adoption and focusing on permanency for children with a family that will always be theirs, we have the blessing of seeing “Love in Action.” Many of the older children we place are operating from an emotional basis of fear. When the adoptive parent can respond to fear with love, the relationship will be the transporter for the child to begin to trust in LOVE IN ACTION. Healing happens on an individual level with no specific timeline. Sometimes it is necessary for the family to actually make their family world a little smaller for a time. That would mean narrowing in to the household and not going here and there with classes, festivals and activities that demand every single minute of the day. In December, I was contacted by someone who randomly reconnected with me, having seen my name in adoption papers after his adoptive parents passed away. As it turned out, I had placed this gentleman with his adoptive family in the late 1970s when he was almost two years old. He called to thank me for “the best decision ever made” because he stated his adoptive family were “the best parents a child could ever have.” In remembering this placement, this had been a child who felt the separation and trauma of leaving his birth family as a toddler and coming into foster care. His adoptive family had responded with patience and LOVE IN ACTION, helping him learn to trust the new family as they developed their bonds without a time frame for attachment in mind.
Adoption is an ongoing social process, not just the legal finality of a court order. All of us in the Adoption department feel grateful when we hear these stories and see children move successfully into placement with a new permanent family.
Written by Anne Boyte, Adoption Case Manager for LSG